After a hard realisation that I was drinking too much wine 5/6 bottles a week ( I didn't have a drink problem as didn't drink everyday), I embarked on Dry January 2024 alongside daily exercise for a charity despite feeling unwell for at least 3 weeks of January assuming body getting rid of the obscene amount I drank I pushed myself to complete the daily exercise as people had donated, I was hoping for a weight loss after getting no where in chub club for some time the disappointment I felt when I didn't see any tremendous amount of loss convinced me that alcohol was not to blame for the inflatable rubber ring around my waistline and was clearly something else, The Perimenopause that's what it is!!
How did I suddenly lose control of my drinking from only drinking on a Friday and Saturday to drinking from Wednesday to Saturday? My working week finished on a Wednesday as part time, so I would crack open a bottle as if it was a Friday after a hard week in work also I had this thought that you weigh less after a good drink so a bottle of wine Wednesday would keep the scales kinder at chub club on Thursday hmmm didn't work long term, Thursday evening my partner would bring over a bottle of prosecco and I would drink it that night, then came the weekend more prosecco or white wine often two bottles a time to myself I don't share and the problem became that I don't have a cut off point with wine unlike other drinks I lost the ability to social drink and enjoy it as more of a need to try and escape my thoughts and emotions of failure.
So what was I trying to escape part loneliness often evenings alone Sunday to Thursday, Stress and more so the angry teen!!, allow me to explain the Teen, firstly I thought she was a little jealous at me finding a partner after being single for so long and a long line of bad choices in men coupled up with puberty and raging hormones I was walking on eggshells the majority of time, then came the not wanting to go to school missing regular days after previously having 100% attendance, so my girl was struggling with friendships and not understanding school work could she be dyslexic, contacted the school explained she was struggling to read, print was moving asking for their help in getting a referral, then I started looking into ADHD and there are so many comparisons in her behaviour that point to this but where do you go? with no help from the school or GP I decided on self referral as felt such a failure how I had I not noticed previously, we have a open relationship she confides in a lot but was embarrassed to mention this but the self referral goes to the Mental Health which angry teen doesn't have according to her, however she now has an advocate to help her and try and work out what's going on, but what if the teen doesn't have ADHD and she is in fact just an arse!!
So the wine became my friend but emotionally drinking lead to arguments and further more I couldn't remember what I had said the previous night, but after Dry January I slipped back into old habits and the 5/6 bottles often hiding the empty bottles in the bin out the back as didn't want people walking past to think a had a problem after looking in the recycle box.
Friday morning after the previous nights wineathon i had a period of self reflection and guilt I remembered why I wanted to do Dry January in the first place to improve my sleep, skin, have less of a puffy face, improve my relationship with angry teen she will still be angry but I can respond better without the wine and overall for health benefits I had the stark wake up call that I had a very unhealthy relationship with wine, I looked back through my chub club record and actually lost 4.5 lb in January and two inches from my hips plus an inch from my waist, and no chubby red face, so now its goodbye to the wine (allowing 2 glasses with a meal out max) I'm not going Sober but changing to a drink I can stop with at two GIN and only Friday and Saturday's.
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